2012 Postpartum?

The freshness & excitement of the new year has worn &

I'm finding myself a little more quiet than usual.
A little more reclusive, a little more emotional
& little more irritable.
Unfortunately, I know Ryan's gotten some of the back end of it.

I'm finding myself easily frustrated with people in general.

People & their ways of doing things. Petty things.

People & the way they talk. People & the way they see things.

I'm finding I want to be left alone & I don't want to be told what to do.

My former teenage self has poked its head out

& it makes me want to rebel against every one's ways.

No matter how old I get, "copycats" will always anger me & I will fight against

the "conformity"; even though I'm a copycat myself.

I'm finding that if I don't want to do something - I'm just not going to.

When did "I don't want to" or "I don't feel like it" become rude answers?

I'm finding myself having way more conversation's in my head than usual.

My mind seems to think it can create it's own closure by talking it out itself.

So much I'd love to say to people. So much I wish I would have.

I'm finding myself yearning to stay home & have zero contact with the outside world.

I don't want to hang out. Or respond to texts. Or answer your phone calls.

Don't go all mom crazy on me & lose sleep over my lack of sociability.

I really am okay. I just want quiet.

Don't you ever wish you could just turn everything off?

Ghost in a Machine by B.O.B.

"You say I look fine, if only you knew what was on my mind

You'd see a whole different sign, I couldn't show you even if I tried

I must have got lost in time when I found out

I was only free to be where ever I want to be

Some say I'm out of sight, how I run and that we're all so blind

If you could open your eyes, you could see what I couldn't describe

And then, you'd see the signs and then your soul would be set free

And then you'd be released

So I grab my bags and go as far away as I can go

'Cause everything ain't what I used to know

And I try to hide but I just can't hide no more

There's nothing worse than feeling like a ghost

I go, a UFO

And I'm so tired of hiding

I've been running, I've been trying

To get away, to get away"

*Disclaimer: I'm not pregnant so don't try and blame my emotional crazy on that.