"Dear Diary,

Hi guys. It's me. You know, Hank the Tank?

I know you've been waiting to here from me again.

I saw Dr. Hicks a couple days ago & he was impressed with the 8lbs I'd gained!

That brings my total to 32 pounds!

I can officially beat Ollie up now, although I don't think I want to test those waters.

(She's crazy! I know who the boss is around here!

Mom & dad are so funny thinking that they rule the roost! Ha!)

My vet experience was not so great this time.

We're hoping our technician was new & not just an idiot.

Dr. Hicks even seemed a little baffled by her.

I wanted to tell her to piss off but mom wouldn't let me.

She needs to learn some soothing techniques

& quit hitting me on the head lady!!

Mom & dad were pretty upset with her.

I heard them saying naughty words the whole way home.

I'm not really sure though because all I did was sleep.

The put something in my shoulder that beeps when a machine goes over it.

I do not like it but mom says this way I can be found if lost.

She says I don't have to go back for 6 months, whatever that means.

Buuuut NOW I CAN GO TO DOG PARKS & KISS EVERYONE!"

xoxo - Hank

PS. I milked my pain level for a good 24 hours this time. They are such suckers.