Honesty with Motherhood.

I've been purposefully slowing my life down over the last 12 months. It is probably the slowest it's ever been which has also made it the most enjoyable. Living without rules, schedules & unnecessary obligations is turning my life into the simple way of living that I've always craved. It has shown me how truly happy I am without responsibility and it has shifted my priorities significantly. My priority is now myself (& Ryan, of course). I want to better myself and just live for me (/us). I want to adventure. I want to learn. I want do whatever I what whenever I want.

I've dealt with a lot of depression & anxiety the last couple of years for a handful of reasons. The depression has subsided most days but my social anxieties & reclusiveness have gotten worse. When I turned 25, I had a secret crisis about my life because I couldn't stop comparing it to societies idea of what a married 25 year old woman's life should look like. I actually have a blog that I wrote from that time still sitting in my drafts. I reread it now and it sounds desperate. About a year ago, before my birthday, Ryan & I had a serious conversation about kids. It was a conversation that both of us had avoided having for awhile because we both thought the other wanted something that we didn't. It turns out, we didn't. Neither one of us want kids. I'm not saying that we'll never have them. I am fully aware that I might wake up in my 30's and think "holy shit! I need a baby and I need it now!". I'm not a fortuneteller. What I can tell you is this: I spent my early 20's thinking that being a mother is what I wanted. I spent a lot of time crying, depressed & angry because I was not able to get pregnant. It's something I laugh at myself for now. I didn't really want kids. I was coming out of a weird friend break-up that really rocked me & left me with this strange, deep sadness and all I really wanted was that bond that a mother has with their children. I wanted to know that somebody would love me forever. I wanted my mother to be a grandmother (because she will be damn good at it). I wanted to fit into the mold of a married woman. For once in my life, I wanted to fit in and feel that unconditional love of a child. I still think those things about motherhood are great. Do you know what I don't want though? The rest of it. The only thing I'm willing to wake up for in the middle of the night is a fire or natural disaster & I definitely don't want to wake up before my alarm goes off in the morning. I don't want to schedule my life around this little creature that literally needs me for everything. I don't want to spend hundreds of extra dollars each month. I don't want postpartum depression. I don't want to miss out on celebrations for my friends and family. I don't want to pass up on spur of the moment vacations. I don't want to not enjoy alcohol or nicotine when I want. I don't want to stop giving my 3 dogs less attention. I don't want a minimum of 9 months of jacked hormones. I don't want to not be selfish. I am selfish & I am free to be so. I am not scared of motherhood. I am not scared of ruining a child's life. I am not scared of molding a kid into an awesome adult. I am actually pretty certain that I'd be a pretty bad-ass mom. I don't want to have a child if I'm doing it because I feel it's what I should do and I definitely don't want to just to appease anyone else. I will have children if I ever feel passionate about having one. If my entire being ever looks at motherhood and what it takes to raise a kid and goes "Yes, I would LOVE to dedicate 100% of my life to that and I don't care what 'negatives' come along with it", then I'll reconsider.

It was HARD for me to get to this place. It was hard for me to admit that I didn't want kids. And that was hard to understand.

I am MAD that it was hard. It should NOT be hard to make personal choices for yourself! It was hard because everything around us (women), says to marry & reproduce! It was hard because I was scared of what my life would look like without them, because I've never seen that life before. Society gave me a damn panic attack because I turned 25 and believed that there was little to no place in this world for me.

This is what I wrote on 4/6/14, exactly one month before 25:

"Today I am shaken by an overwhelming fear. A fear brought on by living the life of a childless woman. As women, we are taught our entire lives to grow up and become a wife & mother. Movies, TV, books; they supply us with help on how to manage falling in love, having kids, losing kids & infertility. What about the women that roam this Earth without children? There is no help to navigate those waters. Where is the book that teaches women to maintain relationships with the people they care about while watching them go down the path of motherhood again & again? We sit on the sidelines & cheer you on, mothers of the world. We're damn good cheerleaders too. But what happens when you look around & you are only surrounded by women with children? I cannot help you with that aspect of your life. An aspect, that for a lot of women, is all there is once they give birth. An aspect, that's no longer just an aspect, it is all they are; they are their children. I cannot speak into your life on raising them & all things motherhood. Where is the book the helps women once their friends realize this & leave them behind with their party days? Where is the help that one needs to explain to their parents that you're not going to make them grandparents? Who is there to help women realize that one day them themselves won't be grandparents? Is there even a place for childless women?"

Parts of me still have some of these fears. I will continue to have some insecurities about my friendships as they have children & I remain here, drinking vodka on a Wednesday night & enjoying a cigarette in the night air. It's similar to the feeling I had when all of my friends went to college & I went to work.

I'm not sure why I felt so compelled to write this today after being silent for so long. Sometimes you just have to get your thoughts on paper. And this, this is my paper. Maybe it's because a co-worker told me that having kids was not a want, "it was a must" and I had zero way of responding in a professional manner. I don't think my first thought would be appropriate for a superior.

Most of the time nowadays, I feel like wearing a sign around my neck that reads:
THIS IS ME & YOU CAN DEAL.



*Maybe I should add that I don't hate on anyone that lives to be a mother. I think that's amazing and it's a special super power talent that I don't understand and I will love your kids so hard. Especially your babies, because holding babies is one of the greatest things in life. Who doesn't love babies?

**I also understand the logic that most mothers have that one day I could get pregnant (which is very unlikely genetically) & my entire outlook would change. That I would no longer see the "negatives" as negatives. That I would be more than willing to give those things up for a child once it happened to me & guess what? I think you're right. It would. If I woke up and found myself magically impregnated, I would embrace it & love it & do right by motherhood. Telling someone that they just don't understand or that they're young and it will pass or that they can't even grasp real love until they're a parent is one of the most obnoxious things. It's as bad as telling someone in a hard time that "everything happens for a reason" or "it will all work out". You aren't that person so you don't understand either. The point is, that just because something is great, does not mean that everyone should experience it. I don't doubt the greatness of motherhood.

#GNM13

This post has only been 2 months in the making. :)

We took what felt like our first real vacation back in November to Santa Fe, NM with Ryan's parents to visit with family & just relax & we got way more than we imagined. The past two years have been hard different & it was time for our eyes to see new things & experience life a little bit differently.

I've been pondering how to put this trip into words. It wasn't just a trip or a vacation. It was an experience. An experience that I hope I never forget or lose sight of. An experience that taught me so much, yet not enough. The closest single word to describe the entire week is this: enriched

If I had a choice, I would go back right now. Or at least a couple of times a year. I want to spend as much time as I can with Ryan's Auntie Sandra & Christina (Kristina?). They are hands down the cutest couple on this Earth. Their entire lives are filled with love & it radiates off of them so bright that you can't help but catch a little bit of it yourself. Honestly, they are perfect example of who I strive to be. They don't over-complicate their lives. They're honest, loving, hardworking, intelligent human beings that see the world like it's brand new, every single day. I just want everyone to know them but part of me just wants to be selfish & hide them away for only myself. Don't even get me started on how brilliant & talented they are.

They had us over for breakfast in their home & it was probably one my favorite moments in Santa Fe. There is something so personal & special about having a meal made with love in someone's home.

It was also so wonderful to meet Ryan's GREAT Grandmother Helen & the man whom Ryan is named after, Uncle Brad. Helen is the most hilarious 98 year old woman you will ever meet. A woman that requests certain restaurants at certain times depending on which hot waiter will be her server. Her mind might not be as sharp as it once was, but her tongue sure was. I managed to get an overwhelming amount of pictures of the landscape & almost none of the fabulous people that I shared it with. I must get better at that.

Our hotel, The Lodge at Santa Fe, was not even close to what we had hoped and paid for but just look at that view from our breakfast table!

I could stare at this land forever. I don't know what it is. It is just so peaceful & beautiful in my eyes.

Truchas, NM: also known as the ghost-like town full of closed galleries & studios that we got lost in where you could put your arm out the window & touch the houses. We literally stopped at a General Store that said open & it was an empty building with nobody in sight.

I fell in love with that town. I truly did. The views were breathtaking. The culture was enlightening. The people were so kind & interesting. The food, delicious. So... who wants to move to Santa Fe with us?

Family Photos

I am so incredibly behind on a few things I've been wanting to update about.

The first being that we got our pictures taken by our dear friend, Rachel Apple.

After Ollie died, I almost immediately regretted not having family photos with her so I wanted to jump on getting them done with Hank & Comet. So last month, we made it happen.

I couldn't be happier with the outcome.

Here are some of our favorites:

(sorry if it takes its time downloading!)

We just got back from vacation last week so hold tight for that post!

 -xoxo

Weekly Round-Up: Sep 2-8

1. It's official. I'm stuck with these glasses from BonLook that I'm really not fond of.

My request for exchanging them wasn't approved which is..whatever.

I let it go but not before telling them exactly how I felt about the quality.

We have bought 9 pairs of BonLook glasses & I don't regret a single one, except these.

2. & 3. Thai dates with the Marshell family might be my new favorite thing.

Max surprises me every week by how fast he's growing up.

I can't wait to hear him say "Aunt Jana".. or at least his version of it.

I feel so blessed to be apart of that kids life.

4. Ryan & his step-mom share the same birthday

& we've always gone to dinner with them every year to celebrate.

This year we went to Musashi's & it was really pretty good!

(I am so grateful that it wasn't Greek House... again. I really hate gyros. Haha.)
More importantly, Kim has been doing MUCH better for those that have been asking.
She's still not 100% & I really hope that changes soon.
They (meaning the doctors) don't really know what happened or what's going on
& I really hope they find some answers soon.
5. Ryan & I went on his birthday date Saturday
& experienced the luxury of reclining seats @ AMC Penn Square.
I was really blown away by the remodel of that theater.
We'd only been once before about 7 years ago & they were pretty crappy.
Considering you have to pay $22 for a reclining seat at our usual go-to theater,
I think we'll be returning to Penn more often than not for our movie theater dates.
6. Comet has a thing for over-sized dog beds.
Any chance he gets, he curls up on Hank's comfy bed & it always cracks me up.

7., 8. & 9. These are my boys & they are the best.
There are days when I just want to snuggle Ollie
& then I get home & see these 3 overly happy faces.


We also celebrated Ryan's birthday with my family @ Del Rancho
which was Ryan's pick since I also hate Del Ranch.
I know, I know. That's like a sin or something.
& we got some good friend time with The Apple's so Rachel could teach me how to play Magic.
I did enjoy it, although I don't know if I'll ever be into playing in large groups.
I could definitely get into some 'in-the-right-close-setting' Magic though.
I hope you all had a fantastic week!

Weekly Round-Up: Aug 26-Sep 1

1. I got new glasses thanks to BonLook's buy 1, get 1 free sale two weeks ago.

I was really skeptical when I ordered them only because of their color.

You really never know what you're truly going to get when you order online, before trying on.

I am in love with these glasses. 

2. King got the pleasure of going to the vet & meeting Dr. Hicks thanks to a nasty double yeast & bacterial ear infection. Poor guys ears started bleeding because they were so bad.

He got a steroid shot & drops which have already made a huge difference. 

We go back next week for a follow-up so we'll see!

This visit also just secured my love & faith for our vet even more.

He literally whined for Dr. Hicks to come back & love on him. What dog does that?

I know that when I go to the doctor, I'm counting down the seconds to when they leave me alone.

I don't scratch at the door until I can bury them in kisses again.

3. We joined the dollar shave club.

I know. I know. It sounds totally ridiculous & almost fake but it's not.

You pay $1-9/monthly depending on the fanciness of the razor & every month, 4-5 blades land on your doorstep. Meaning you can change your razor blade every single week for $12/year.

When was the last time you bought razor blades for under $30? I mean, really.

It was a no-brainer for us. There is nothing better than shaving with a new blade.

& you know... if you're lazy like me, you might be shaving with a new blade every single time. ;)

4. You know how I was just saying that I was ready for some calm in my life from my dogs?

These two have been so much sweeter & calmer lately. It just kills me.

5. These are the second pair of glasses I got. They were Ryan's first choice during my virtual try-on.

I am exchanging them. 

I wasn't in love when I got them & as time has gone on, 

I've realized that I don't like a single thing about them.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Labor Day weekend!

I know that we thoroughly enjoyed having an extra day to relax.

I managed to be productive & lazy every day which always makes me feel so satisfied.

We did quite a bit of hanging out on our own over the 3.5 days

except for joining Warren & Kim at their house for the OU game Saturday

(as a man, is there anything better than watching sports with your dad?)

& getting to spend some quality time with Jeremy & Natalie afterwards.

I can't even describe how much I miss those two sometimes.

Weekly Round-Up: Aug 19-25

1. We had to "suit up" to visit our step-mom, Kim, in the hospital. She gave us quite a scare this week but seems to be doing much better now. She was released from the hospital today but still has some healing to do. 

We just ask that everyone continues to keep her in your thoughts & hope for a quick recovery!

2. Hank has had the luxury of being put in a pen, rather than a crate during the day. 

We finally bought him a crate because even with bricks around the pen, he moved that thing around everywhere. 

He hates his new crate. HATES. 

I swear that Satan himself has come out of his butt every single day in that thing. 

When I told him to get in his crate, he looked at me & then crammed himself in Comet's crate instead. 

He can't fit in there without sitting & curling up. He can't even walk into the thing. It's more like an army crawl but there was no way he was getting in his crate to be alone all day. 

Needless to say, it was so precious that I didn't bother arguing. 

He loves his tiny brother so much.

3. I've still been working on cleaning/organizing/throwing away the house.

This was my Sunday afternoon project: 

aka do something with the old bedroom/awkward room/dog room/music room/bicycle? room.

I was going to get rid of that table, filing cabinet AND mirror but look at me being all "reuse & recycle"...or whatever.

I took the big drawer out of the filing cabinet & removed the rolling track.

Now it's the perfect size to hide my big caboodle & hair products.

The table was my Grandma Audrie's. It's in pretty rough shape & used to have a V-shaped shelf right in the middle that just made it awkward. I took off the shelf & already have plans to reuse those.

I will eventually be sanding & painting it as well.

& yes, I did hang a mirror in between our double windows.

Lets face it. Natural light is the BEST to get ready in front of.

4. Ryan had his first band practice for a cover band that our buddy Matt is putting together.

I'll be honest & say that I'm excited because I could listen to Tommie sing all day & because well... it pays.

All I really care about right now is getting to New Mexico in November.

Vacation is calling to us so strong right now & we're focusing on saving every penny until then.

I can't wait to feel that cold mountain air in my hair & lungs.

Weekly Round-Up: Aug 12-18

Honestly, I feel so grumpy today that I don't really give a shit about this blog right now.

But my little OCD head is already frustrated that I'm a day behind so carry on, I must.

1. Dinner date with The Marshell's so I could experience Thai food the first time.

The highlight was obviously hanging out with Max who was in a fantastic mood.

I know you're all dying to know my thoughts on the food which is:

I think I could seriously like some shrimp pad thai.

But let's get real & say that what I remember most is that it smells like wet dog.

Side note: I was totally trying to be sweet yesterday & took Ryan to eat thai again because a) there was another groupon & b) I wanted to try it again -- & it was so horrible. All around - just a horrible experience.

But, it did not let me down in the fact that it did still smell like wet dog.

2. We hung out @ my brother & sister-in-law's house for some games & beer.

Of course beer. Darren Griffis & beer don't come separately.

3. I mean, weekly dose of cute right there. Am I wrong?

4. I got all brave & tucked my shirt into skirt & had to ask the world if I was doing it right. 

I am not great at that whole "wardrobe" thing. Why can't we all just look like we walked out of a Pinterest board?

5. I mentioned 2 weeks ago that I was ready to do an ultimate "de-clutter" of the house

& I have been doing just that for 2 weeks now - room by room.

I'm not really sure what to do with all of the crap I have piled in my kitchen that I no longer want

but I guess that's for another post.

This picture is what I stared at all night long because I got the bright idea to swap our bedrooms...

at 8pm on a weeknight in the middle of my de-cluttering 

& had no time to hang curtains to cover the very bright streetlights outside the window.

It wasn't in the plan. My plan was clean. clean. clean. clean.

& then an hour later I'm dragging our headboard down the hall

after I had just told Ryan that I would NOT be moving our bed until the weekend.

6. This is my favorite picture right now. It is nearly impossible to get a picture of all 3 & I managed to do it while also capturing their personalities so well.

Hank is always being silly in some way or another. He can't even lay on his dog bed properly. He is always hanging off one way or another even though there is more than enough room.

King is always seeking love & attention so of course he's already staring at me when I get my phone out

& Comet... well Comet just got done humping the shit out of King's back & is now sitting like the prince he is right where he just did his business. THIS. This is my everyday life as a dog owner. 

7. It's pretty neat to watch these two love each other more & more every day. 

They spooned for a couple of hours just like this.

8. The spooning led to mama caving & letting them sleep in the same crate together.

(We've been making them sleep in crates for a week or so & it's weird but nice... but also kind of sad.)

9. This is what I look like when I'm a bridesmaid.

More on that in a different post.

Weekly Round-Up: Aug 5-11

1. I've had stole this skirt from Natalie when was 15.

I think we probably gave 50 cents for it at Community Thrift.

It is definitely homemade & so simply sewn together.

It always puts me in a brighter mood while it reminds me of my 15 year old life with Natalie.

2. I started The Hunger Games again & was reminded just how much I love it.

3. This guy. He very rarely lets us get a picture of him but when he does, it is the best.

4. King is so muscular. Look at that definition in his body & all he's doing is sitting.

5. These are the sweet moments I live for.

6. It took Hank 30 minutes to get the courage to jump in that chair.

7. I got to spend the afternoon with this beautiful woman.

Mother/Daughter dates are the best afternoons.

8. I was on book 2 of The Games within 3 days.

9. We made this chicken last night thanks to the recipe Tommie supplied

& I learned that I can't touch whole chickens.

I got so freaked out just trying to wash it that I just had to drop it & walk away.

Thanks to Ryan, we still ended up having a fantastic chicken dinner.

Weekly Round-Up: July 22-28

1. I'll never tire of seeing Hank & Comet being so sweet to each other.

2. The first night with King & already sitting for us for a treat. I love Hank's enthusiasm.

3. We can't keep our door clean because these two have to watch our every move.
4., 5. & 6. This is what it looks like after you get a new dog & they play for 24 hours straight.
7. Ryan & I normally eat lunch together everyday but I was stranded at work alone without a car 
& ate one of the best wraps I've ever had from my work cafeteria.
8. King & Ryan on the way to the vet. He was excellent during the examination & shots.
He was a complete nutcase in the waiting room. He was making himself severely stressed.
9. Hank woke us up with an upset stomach yesterday morning & of course we went into slightly panicked mode. 
He was mopey & just wanted to sleep the first half of the day but seemed fine by late afternoon.



Things sadly not pictured from the week:

We went to Waddy's to swim yesterday with Hank & Comet. It might have been one of the cutest things I've ever seen. Hank is hilariously adorable & seemed to really love it but didn't have the stamina to hold his weight above the water for longer than 5 minutes. A doggie life vest is definitely in his future. 

Weekly Round-Up: July 15-21

1. The "Cone of Shame" was a guest at our house until Hank literally ate it off his head.

2. Our neighbors are amazing & brought this back from vacation for us.

You have no idea how hard it is to find vintage deer things that don't look like this.

3. & 4. We got Hank a 99 cent hot dog toy & it makes him sad?

If you squeak it at him, he whines at it & then goes into a full-on Ollie-like howl.

It made my heart so happy. I didn't think I'd ever hear dog singing again after Ollie passed.

5. & 6. My sister-in-law was in town this weekend so we spent the day at my father-in-law's house,

complete with cooking out, swimming & cute babies.

7. This is Allen or better known as "Al-Pal". 

He was sad & I kept accidentally tormenting him 

by looking in his direction while he was locked in the hall away from the family.

8. Oh you know, just Hank & Comet being best friends. I love those two.

There is potential to add another friend in the mix for these two in the coming days.

Hank really needs a playmate that's his size so we're just trying to figure out what's best for our family physically, emotionally & financially. It's a big decision to bring another dog into a home that's already got a "settled" dog.. not to mention a 7 year old & 8 pound settled dog.. so we just want to really be comfortable before we make any final decisions. I'll be sure to keep you updated on that!

Weekly Round-Up: July 1-7

I'm a little behind this week.

1. Drive night with the whole family. They were ready to go home after an hour.

2. My mom was nice enough to let us vacation at her house for the holiday weekend while they were out of town to give us a chance to relax. I don't think anybody loved this as much as Hank. He was so happy to lay in grass again. That boy loves laying in the sun in the grass more than he loves eating & giving kisses combined. (We've had to keep the dogs from the backyard since Ollie passed to try & kill as much of the parvovirus as possible first.)

3. Ryan grilled hamburgers & I guess I'm the only weird one that doesn't want their cheese melted.

4. & 5. Jeremy & Natalie came over to help us celebrate the 4th, eat those hamburgers & watch fireworks on the top of Ryan's work parking garage downtown.

6. Hank ate his bed. The "Hey! He stopped peeing in the middle of the day and/or night & hasn't chewed anything up so let's reward him with this wonderful bed" bed. Please note that Comet didn't want any part of this. He was curled up as close as he could to the edge of the pen when we got home shaking in terror. Ha!

7. Comet went for his first swim... at 7 years old... in a bathtub. (Thanks mom! Haha!)

Although he looks terrified, he really did appear to enjoy it.

8. I had to work the day after the fourth. I was so bored.

9. Hank had an official play date with his girlfriend, Oswin & her brother Remus. I can't explain the joy & sadness I felt seeing how happy he was. I'm afraid he's been a little depressed trying to figure out where Ollie has gone. He doesn't really know what to do without his wrestle/chase buddy. Oswin fixed that for a couple of hours & I think he could have slept for 24 hours straight afterwards.

Last week is brought to you by my sweet parents that made last week a good one. Thank you so much for opening your house to us. You gave us a nice & quiet place to relax & not have to worry about everything that's been going on at our house. It was just what we needed! Hank & Comet are lucky to have such good grandparents too. :)

The List: Week 25 - Dream Dinner

See the previous week here.

25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be & what would you eat?

---------------------------------------------------

It's really hard to narrow this down.
& why does it matter what we eat?

This man.
Delbert Cearley, my grandfather.
When it comes down to it, he's the man I wish I knew more than anyone else.
He died when I was really little.. I can't even tell you how old I was.
Young enough to not really be able to grasp what death was.
Too young to understand why mommy & daddy were crying
& too young to remember a funeral. I don't even know if I went actually.
All I know is that when I hear stories about this man, I long to know him too.
I've always imagined him as a gentle giant;
Hard in his old-fashioned ways with a soft spot for his grandkids.
It's an odd thing to describe, loving a man that you've never really met.
But that I do.
Just hearing the way my mother speaks about him & seeing the woman he raised up,
that's all I need to know to know that I would have adored him.

& you know what we'd eat?
That scary-ass sword fish he caught that hung above the couch in their den.
...that way it wouldn't have scared me all those years.

The Cooper/Griffis family.

This.

Saturday night, Ryan & I were blessed with the opportunity to help Jeremy out with a surprise proposal at the place their love begin; our garage. I can't begin to explain the overwhelming joy it brought us to not only watch both of our since-childhood best friends get engaged, but to also be apart of such a precious moment. The first time they met was at our wedding rehearsal. We paired Jeremy & Natalie together because of what they each meant to us really. Jeremy & Ryan were raised together. They're just as much brothers as their blood is. Natalie came into my life when I needed her most at 13 years old. She's been my closest friend since. We never knew at our wedding that the whispers about how cute he was even though he had a girlfriend at the time would actually turn into an out-loud reality. Flash-forward a few years & I still remember the exact moment I gave Jeremy her number while we talked on our couch about how I knew the kind of girl he needed & it was her about 3 years ago. Little did we know that all of the countless hours of flirting in our garage during ping-pong nights would actually amount to the beautiful love that unfolded.

Congratulations again, Jeremy & Natalie.

& thank you for letting us share that moment with you.

I look forward to extending the Griffis/Cooper families for the rest of our lives.

Also, if you're single, you apparently need to be friends with us.

The Griffis family + the garage + plus alcohol in the garage = marriage.

(My sister & Jeremiah met the exact same way.)

The List: Week 24 - Family Dynamic

See the previous week here.

24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.

-------------------------------------------------------

Childhood life was "normal" in my eyes.
I grew up in a typical mid-class American family 
in a nice house in a nice neighborhood,
where bad things just didn't really happen.
I had two parents, two siblings, 1 dog.
We were close. We spent time together.
We loved one another & we fought one another.
I was pretty equally close to my parents as a young kid.
My mother was my support, my nurturer, my listening ear.
My father was my entertainment, my humor.
My siblings were typical. We loved each other & hated each other.
We played & that always turned into competition which turned into a fight.
We locked each other in closets & hid each other's prized possessions.
The oldest sister thought she was the boss & old enough to tell us what to do.
The middle sister was a goody-goody that always blamed me for everything. :)
& I was the baby... so you know... I was an ornery brat.

Today, my mother is still my support, my nurturer, my listening ear.
But she is also my entertainment & humor.
My biological father is my biological father.
We have a step-dad & spouses & they all just fit there seamlessly.
All of our roles as siblings pretty much stayed the same,
only they evened out a little more as we grew up.
We're all on the same level now, rather than being oldest, middle & baby.

Our family stopped being "normal"
& starting being real somewhere in the middle.

Weekly Round-Up: June 10-16

1 & 2. We took Hank to the canal to walk & he was so excellent. He made us so proud.

We also ran into a lady with a dog who walked away as soon as we said the words "pit bull".

3. Got to see David Ramirez at the Blue Door again. Perfect as always. That man is pure talent.

4. Porch night with some of our favorite people & Jeremy even got to come!

(He's been a little busy now that he owns a restaurant & all.) photo credit to Rachel Apple

5. Father's Day breakfast with my wonderful step-dad, Preston, at Cracker Barrel.

6. Broke out the grill for the first time this year for some kabobs!

7. Finally getting around to watch Game of Thrones & ohmygosh.

8. Ryan & his dad, Warren, after lunch yesterday for Father's Day!

9. Warren started teaching Ryan how to ride a motorcycle on his Harley. It was so cute & exciting!